Take Control of Your Life

Don’t we all have the feeling that a lot of things in life is out of our control, especially when we are younger? I say yes to that. Back in my “unaware” days, that’s what I thought. Here, I ask that you also ask yourself the same question and if your answer is yes, please accept my sincere request that you take a few minutes to read what I have to say.

Here is my bold statement – the idea that “most things in life are not in our control” is bull, wrong, and misleading. I will even say, “We often give up that control ourselves.” Sound silly? Here is my reasoning.

We give up control because we are scared. We are afraid of responsibility. Because, IF we do think that we are in complete control, it implies that whatever happen to ourselves, success or failure, is of our own doing. And who wants failure. In this society, we have come to think of failure as a bad thing. When we fail, we ourselves become failure and stuck a failure, which is not true. Consequently, if we are in control, our sense of security and identify can easily undergo scruitny. It is just easier for us to justify ourselves when we claim not to be in control and not responsible. If anything bad happens to us, it is not our fault and just blame other things and people, which is why we complain and frequently hear complaints. The obvious easy way out.

There are factors and human traits like sheer laziness that keeps us from making any change and leads to us giving up control over life. We could doing it “sub-consciously” and that is exactly why we must make a conscious effort to NOT give up that control and make things happen in life. In order to do that, we must first begin to adopt the mentality – we are 100% responsible for our own reality, who we are and what happen to us are the direct results of our own thoughts and actions.

Other things that will help to take control of our own lives:

I hope this is helpful!

Originally posted 2007-05-11 02:02:34. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

My cat teaches me about simple living

My curious cat when she was less than 2 months old.

My curious cat when she was less than 2 months old.

For good or for bad… some stuff my beloved cat teaches and reminds me.

We don’t really NEED that much — all the stuff and consumption — in life.

Life could be simple. One can enjoy and just eat, shit, play, sleep… repeat.

You don’t have to have a reason to do something.

Work? What? Productivity? What? Nothing to do or accomplish and just great.

It’s my way, or no way. For people, I think this translates into “Stop bullshitting each other.”

Being affectionate, physically close, or simply cuddly with a person you like is great. And even without doing anything together, is wonderful. But of course can be enhanced with some patting, licking, and… well, hopefully no scratching… unless you prefer that way ;)

Keep yourself clean.

Be attentive at all time.

Originally posted 2013-01-22 11:05:44. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Life is a Process

In life, we move from one goal to the next. We are told that we need to set goals and to reach these goals is success. So in between goals, our focus is solely on the goals. It becomes all about reaching the end.

Let me ask you, “Are you always in a hurry to ‘get some where’ in life?”

I must say, I’m not so sure if it’s such a good idea anymore. I wonder how many moments we lost by living like that. But the fact that everyone is in a hurry in life, so fixated on the “end”, helps to explain why people are so distracted in everyday life. Their happiness is solely dependent on reaching goals. I’m not sure if I like this either. I am even amazed at how much people enjoy the dramas, both good and bad ones, in between also, but I digress.

People are 100% immersed in this little world of “goals”. They allow the emotions and thoughts that arouse from succeeding or failing at these goals dictate them. In other words, reaching goals and success and emotions and thoughts control them. This explains why people genuinely not give a crap about each other also. They are ready to step on another’s toes to cross the road.

My conclusion for now is that everything in life or more specifially, growth in any areas like physical strength, piano, singing, etc. (what I do) is like climbing a mountain. Just when you think you have gone so far, you realize how much farther you can go. No end in sight. It’s a relentless pursuit. What would happen if you base your happiness on these endless pursuits?

It is great to celebrate when a goal is reached. But it’s so enjoyable also realize in between, that you are travelling because you care to expand the effort, and you possess the perserverance, endurance of pain, acceptance of loneliness, and willingness to change. The moments in between goals are important. It is also extraordinarily enjoyable as I am training in many different areas, and by savoring the moments, I discovered so much about myself and the world, both physically and psychologically.

Essentially, the moment is all we have. To find happiness means you treat the moment sincerely. To have faith in the moment is to have peace. To have peace allows you to do things sincerely. To do things sincerely allows for quality.

It is foolish to take life in a completely goal-oriented way. Not that goal is bad. But reaching for goal as extremety is bad. Not only because you are wasting the moments of yourlife, but also because you will ignore the process. Like the economic crisis, we can say it happened because of greed. However, we can also say that it happened because people wnat this arbitrary end of “enormous wealth” and they want to bypass process to get there. It is the same reason why people take steroids to look big and not for medical purpose. We had a economy spiked on steroids and now we reap the side effects.

In a way, I guess I want to say that modern life is a constant struggle to get to these “ends”. But I am writing this to also remind myself to not get sucked into the incessant chasing, to not be in such a hurry. It is important to stop and rest. I like to stay in the moment. And like I said, it’s a struggle sometimes living in this modern world.

Finally, to not treat life as a one integral process is also the cause of the biggest downfall for many people. Why? Examples would be people who diet/exercise for some deadlines, only to turn into Ms./Mrs./Mr. Dunkin Donuts afterward. Or people who enslave themselves with yet another loan after they paid off the previous one.

To think that you “get there” and you can stop is the stupidest thing people can think in life. To stop is to become rigid and therefore allows no change and that means death. To be alive is to be fluid and ready to accept changes to go with the flow in life. Life is a process.

Originally posted 2008-11-02 23:08:05. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

Where Does Your Attention Go?

With a plethora of family issues and personal things to take care and a blue-screened desktop to reinstall, I did not have the time and energy to post. I thank you for your patience.

One thing you can evaluate to gauge how well you are doing in a particular aspect of life is by observing how much attention to direct to it.

Let us focus on personal finance. What is the first thing you should do to get your finance in order? Lay down a budget? Start investing? Opening high yield saving accounts? Not. To put things in order, you must first pay attention and understand your current situation before doing anything else. That means, find out your assets and liabilities (networth), and then income and expense (cash flow). If nothing else, by paying attention to these information, it reveals the truth about your financial situation. As such, you can provide yourself no excuse to avoid doing what’s necessary.

Certainly you can act on your personal finance situation without these informations… but that just means you just don’t have the genuine desire to change it, as you don’t even want to pay attention to it. Maybe you will get lucky and get somewhere, but it’s the equivalent of walking around with a map but without a compass.

In a sense, when I say attention, it is about being honest and seeing the truth about your current situation first, in order to act accordingly and bring order from chaos. No excuses. No denying. And no procrastination.

You can do the same for your health, career, and relationship. In fact, they are all important in life and thus, all require your attention. But I am surprised to frequently see people focus on only a subset of these four things. Paying attention to everything? Sounds very busy. Because it is. And you get to decide when, where, and how to be busy — how to allocate your time and energy.

Which area(s) of life does you attention go?

Originally posted 2008-08-07 19:49:49. Republished by Blog Post Promoter

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